A Year Ago Today….

I woke up this morning at 4:30 am, very rare for me, and just couldn’t get little Boston out of my mind.  A year ago today the unimaginable happened.  At least unimaginable in my book…things like this didn’t happen to people I loved.  My ex got a phone call saying “Dani lost the baby, you need to pick up Katie and come to the hospital.” He repeated those words to me and I said “Dani lost Capri?!” I was so out of it Boston didn’t even cross my mind.

And then it hit me.

I sat straight up in bed and screamed some not so good words. I was mad.  So mad.  Only a few days before we had taken Dani’s maternity pictures and thrown her a surprise baby shower.  There was no way Boston was gone.  This was just some cruel joke.  But it wasn’t.

Our next step was telling Katie why we were picking her up at 5am and going to the hospital.  How do you do that?

We finally made it to the hospital and waited for hours before we got to see Dani and Tomy.  I am horrible in these situations and can do nothing but cry.  I was amazed at how strong Dani and Tomy were.  I was so upset and just wanted to know why.  Why would something like this happen? Why would a precious life be taken? Parents should never have to bury their child, especially when he was due to be born in just a few weeks.

Boston was born that morning at 9:09am.  He was 3lbs 12oz and as handsome as ever.  He looked just like his big sister.

I was asked to take a few photos for the family and as hard as I knew it would be there was no way I could say no.  To this day it still is the hardest thing I have ever had to do but I know that these photos are the most cherished in the world.

Boston had the perfect 10 little toes and 10 little fingers.

The strength of these 2 hands still amazes me to this day.  Those are the hands of two awesome people.

I can look back now and not be angry.  It took me a while to get there but now I know Boston is in a better place.  He was too beautiful and precious for earth.  We will see him again soon one day.  Until then, every year on April 1st I will celebrate his birth.  I think of him often and miss him dearly.  It’s crazy how a precious little man in a mommy’s belly can have such an impact on your life.

Today please say a prayer for this family.  Give you kids a hug and be thankful.  Even if they drive you crazy, they are here with you.  Cherish every moment.

“The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn’t bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.

But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.

The little one we longed for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.

And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.”

Love you always…

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