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New Year, New Me

So, I’ve never been one for New Years resolutions but this year may be different.  I have had a lot of ups and downs over the last year and 2012 is a chance for me to start fresh.  In 2011 my life changed completely.  I thought it was changing forever but that didn’t end up being the case.  I got engaged, changed my life and me for a man.  He really was a great man but I just wasn’t the one for him.  When he broke up with me I thought my world had ended.  I have never cried so hard in my life probably, I did things I regret, I broke things, I thought all of my dreams had been ruined.  I didn’t know how I was going to go on with my life.  I had dreams for us and plans for our future and in a moments notice those were all gone.  How could this happen to me, I thought? I am not this person.  Things like this don’t happen to me.  Silly to be so naive.

Now, 4 months later, I am stronger and I have grown a lot.  Am I thankful for what happened? Probably can’t say yet that I am thankful for it but I am happy with where I’m at now.  I’m happy with the person I am and how strong I am.  I’m proud of myself and the home that I have made.  I am so thankful for the friends and family that stood by me and supported me in my darkest moments.  Some people may think that I don’t have a lot of friends or that I’m lonely because I don’t go out much.  This is not true.  I enjoy my alone time.  I enjoy the few awesome friends that I have and my co-workers for putting up with me every day.  I have friends hundreds of miles away that I wouldn’t change for the world.  It’s amazing how someone so far can be so close to your heart.  Thank you to everyone that has been supportive.  Without you I don’t know where I would be.

So, the plan for 2012 is to work on me and to make sure that in the future I can be the best girlfriend/wife a guy could have.  I will set higher standards and go for what I want.  I won’t settle.  I had a dream of a guy when I was growing up and that’s the guy I’m going for.  Why can’t I have my dream guy? These days it’s hard to find the perfect person for you…but he’s out there somewhere.  I know it.  And until I find him, I’m perfectly fine with being alone.  I’ve never been the girl that needs to have a man by her side all the time…that’s not me at all, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t hope for the right one to come along.  2012 will be a good year.  If it brings new love, great.  If not, that’s okay too! I’m looking forward to my future and doing things to make me happy and not worry so much about what others think.  In the end, I need to make myself happy first before I can make someone else happy.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year — Make it a great one 🙂

4 thoughts on “New Year, New Me

  1. Capacity for love is capability in love. Before God can and will bless you with your perfect man, you must allow Him to build within you the capability to comprehend, recognize, appreciate and embrace your love when he comes. Based on the insights you courageously reveal here, Lane, I dare say you have the capacity! God Bless!
    T

  2. Baby, what an awesome blog! I am so very proud of you. Never settle! He IS out there somewhere. God is preparing you for him, and him for you. The journey is the best part as we learn what really makes US happy! I love you sweet girl! I hate the pain you’ve gone through, but this, too, shall make you stronger!
    Mom

  3. Lane…I love you sooo much! I can see you growing and maturing all the time. God has a plan for you! He is preparing the way for you and for that special someone. Believe me, he is worth the wait! ;o) You have a huge heart and soul…anyone would be blessed to have you…but anyone is not good enough…the one God is preparing for you is! Stay true to you! As Proverbs 16.9 says…In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps. Again in Proverbs 19.21 – Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. This is all you ever want…to be right where HE wants you! He is preparing the way and knows the outcome. Hold on girl, you will be blown away! I promise! LYNMW!!! Trish

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